Believing in what I say

The other day on a walk with a friend I referred to my spiritual practice and beliefs as drivel! Thankfully she pulled me up on it and told me its not. Later upon reflection of this conversation I realised that I am self conscious of what I believe in. It seems a very different thing to sit passively in front of a computer screen typing up my learnings to saying them out loud. When I write things it is to an invisible audience, I don't really get much feedback except seeing the numbers of people reading my posts and the occasional comment so I feel much safer and able to reach out of my comfort zone. Certainly blogging has been an incredible stepping stone for me to start voicing what I believe in but the conversation the other day has indicated to me that I need to start believeing in myself some more and to be brave and take the plunge and say it out loud to a real human who can talk back to me in verbal and non verbal ways.

I have been mulling over why I feel self conscious and I think its because a lot of what I teach is left of field. I know it resonates with people from the feedback I have received but I also know it doesn't resonate with everyone and I guess I am scared of what others might think! This is a new feeling for me I am not usually one to hold back on my viewpoint, I am content most of the time to say you can love me or leave me but yogimama is different. Yogimama is not just a blog or a group of people, it is my heart, it is my soul and it reflects some of the deepest parts of my being. I am protective of it because it is fragile, there is a reason this stuff is deep and that is because i care about it a lot.

I do realise though that in order to take my teachings and self discovery to the next level i need to break out of the comfort zone, I need to be brave and shout out what I am passionate about to the world, I need to throw caution to the wind and leap. I need to be brave. Eep! So wish me luck fellow travellers and stay tuned for the next level. I hope you will join me. I will leave you with a Mark Twain quote which is very appropriate for this situation: