Guilt seems to be coming up lot in conversations I have had of late and it got me thinking. I believe I have touched on mother guilt before but it is not an emotion which solely effects mothers. My friend said to me when she feels guilty she feels like she will do anything to get away from it and indeed it is a very uncomfortable feeling. Unfortunately though it exists in our head so to run away from it is a pointless exercise as it will remain and all you have done is push it further within where it will fester and build and come out at a later time. Guilt is cumulative so when you don't acknowledge and clear it it continues to build up. Think of it like plaque build up on your teeth. You need to clean your teeth to remove plaque build up same goes for guilt build up in your mind.
I believe that guilt is a wasted emotion and wasted energy. Its like one of my favourite sayings: "not forgiving is like taking poison expecting the other person to die" just like not forgiving the only thing guilt is harming is yourself and how does that help? It is a negative feeling eating away at you and it really is not a positive experience. The only thing its kind of good for really is to learn something about yourself. It can be a great way to look inside yourself and figure out why you feel guilt about certain things. This way you turn the guilt into something constructive. If you can find the root cause of your guilt you will be able to cleanse yourself from it.
Why do we have so much guilt? Well I believe it is because we expect too much of ourselves. Which is why I think mothers in particular suffer from excessive amount of the guilts. We expect that we can, take care of our kids, keep our house immaculate, go to work to pay for the overpriced house, have a social life, sex life and look good all at the same time. When we don't fulfil all these expectations we feel guilty about something or someone missing out (including ourselves.)
This is also where perfectionism plays a role. Not only do we expect all these things of ourselves but we expect them to be done in a perfect way. Bloody hell I am actually tired just writing all of this down!
Drop the expectations and be kind to yourself. Know that you are doing the best you possibly can each and every moment of everyday and that is enough. You don't need to do anymore than that because just being here means you are special. Live your best life but know that if you mess up or have a bad day/week/month/year that is ok too. If this isn't enough to get rid of the guilt try this yoga pose out to clear that guilt build up.
I believe that guilt is a wasted emotion and wasted energy. Its like one of my favourite sayings: "not forgiving is like taking poison expecting the other person to die" just like not forgiving the only thing guilt is harming is yourself and how does that help? It is a negative feeling eating away at you and it really is not a positive experience. The only thing its kind of good for really is to learn something about yourself. It can be a great way to look inside yourself and figure out why you feel guilt about certain things. This way you turn the guilt into something constructive. If you can find the root cause of your guilt you will be able to cleanse yourself from it.
Why do we have so much guilt? Well I believe it is because we expect too much of ourselves. Which is why I think mothers in particular suffer from excessive amount of the guilts. We expect that we can, take care of our kids, keep our house immaculate, go to work to pay for the overpriced house, have a social life, sex life and look good all at the same time. When we don't fulfil all these expectations we feel guilty about something or someone missing out (including ourselves.)
This is also where perfectionism plays a role. Not only do we expect all these things of ourselves but we expect them to be done in a perfect way. Bloody hell I am actually tired just writing all of this down!
Drop the expectations and be kind to yourself. Know that you are doing the best you possibly can each and every moment of everyday and that is enough. You don't need to do anymore than that because just being here means you are special. Live your best life but know that if you mess up or have a bad day/week/month/year that is ok too. If this isn't enough to get rid of the guilt try this yoga pose out to clear that guilt build up.
If this feels ok release your hands to make it slightly more challenging. To make it harder again slowly straighten your legs but keep your back straight! Every time you feel guilt practice this pose. Think of it as a tool you can call upon anytime to empower you to not feel guilty.
Sending calm to you all
L xox
great post, Lucy...
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