The power of taking responsibility

The other day I was giving some advice to a friend and he told me it was the best advice he had ever received in his whole life so I thought I would share to others. Of course, I can't take full credit for this advice as it is something that yogis have been teaching for thousands of years and most religions have their own version as well.......

It is three little words: "I am responsible," three of the most empowering words you can use in your life and what I believe can be one of the most important tools we can use to connect with our higher selves.

I used to place my happiness into the hands of others be it my partner, friends, family, my job. I was constantly outsourcing my happiness by blaming others when I didn't feel at my best. "It's your fault I'm unhappy because you don't spend enough time with me", "its because my job is shit" and even "its the city I live in, that's the reason I'm down." By using all these excuses and not taking responsibility for my own well being i was at the mercy of external circumstances. I would sometimes feel fulfilled when all the stars and moon aligned and everyone and everything in my life did what I said I wanted but it wasn't sustainable and the majority of the time I was miserable.

So I took my well being into my own hands and said I am responsible for all that happens in my own life, i am responsible for eating well, staying fit in body and mind and loving myself. It felt good and still does. All of a sudden I didn't have to wait for others to fulfil my needs, I wasn't in a constant state of anxiety trying to get everything to go a certain way. I didn't need to change jobs, or move cities or end my relationship (thank god cause I ended up marrying the guy!.) I realised it all exists inside us, everything that you will ever need to be content is inside you right now in your heart where your true self glows like the coals in a fire. I'm not saying I'm perfect and remember to take responsibility for everything all the time but it does help when I get caught up and upset to remember that I just need to take a step back, breathe and assess the situation and take whatever responsibility I need to. 

Taking responsibility can be very difficult and can often mean swallowing our pride, quieting our ego and seeing where we have room for improvement. However it really is worth the discomfort. One might believe that by taking responsibility we are disempowering ourselves by lowering our walls and becoming vulnerable, but it is the key to personal growth. By admitting we are responsible we are taking the power into our own hands, by admitting we are responsible we are saying to ourselves and the world that we can do something about it. By admitting we are responsible we are holding the keys to change in our own hands and not leaving it in the hands of others.

So try it, even just for a day and see how it feels. When you feel the urge to blame someone or something else  instead look within and see how you can take responsibility for whatever it is and how you can make a small change within yourself to make the situation better.

Love, light and blessings,

Lucy