Fostering healthy chakras in children

This week I'm not going to write anything myself but instead offer an article I came across which discusses the Chakras and how they relate to a child's development. The Chakras are an ancient system originally founded in India and refer to 7 energy portals in the body.

http://www.altjn.com/ideas/chakras.pdf

Love and light
L

The other side of the coin

So a couple of weeks back I wrote about the dark side of being a mother and the daily struggles that I face. In the name of balance I want to share with you the light filled days of joy, as well as the endless rewards of being a Mum.

My son's smile is the best thing in the world to wake up to. In fact any time he smiles it is the best thing I have ever seen. He really does smile too with no agenda no falseness just pure joy radiating from every pore. It is so contagious and yes even when he is in a particularly nasty mood and I am at my wits end his smile is enough to make my heart melt and my face and eyes light up to reflect his happiness.

Cuddles. Best. Cuddles. Ever.

Breastfeeding, I know not all Mum's get to do this for whatever reason, but I love it. It is the one thing that me and E share that no one else can do. I love the bonding that it entails and the closeness between us. Oh and now I really understand what my boobs are for, they aren't just a sexual object they feed a human being and at one point they were the only nourishment he was receiving. I feel so proud of this.

It's the little things that he does that mean so much. When he looks at me with wonder as he tries to grab my hair or stick his finger in my mouth and/or nose he is just so enamoured with the world. He really looks at this world we occupy as fascinating and wonderful, he doesn't see it through the often cynical negative eyes of an adult and to observe this is truly a gift. It reminds me to slow down stop and really look at what is around me because when you look at it through a child's eyes it is very special.

The way he looks at me when something surprising happens or he does something new just warms my heart. He really says to me "Mum look what i just did" with such pride and excitement written all over his face.

I will be a witness to all his "firsts," first tooth, first birthday, first step, frst time he crawls and I swear to god as he reaches each milestone I just love him more and more. Just the thought of all the firsts I am going to see fills me with so much excitement and joy.

I feel endless, unconditional, wonderful all consuming love for this little being. Love I have never experienced before and love that fills my heart to bursting and just when I think I can't love anymore well I can because it just gets stronger and stronger. Amazing.

I get to be a kid again, this and this alone has to be pretty much the best part about being a parent. I mean seriously how cool is that? I get a do over, I get to live my childhood again. Just think about that for a minute. I will play games with him, paint pictures, read stories, go to the circus, plays, musicals and watch as his face lights up at Christmas, Birthdays, Easter and special events. Wow. I feel so privileged and so lucky knowing have been blessed with all this.

There you have it the other side of the coin :-) and just in case you were wondering, yeah it does make the shit days worth while!
  

Meditating for Mama's (or anyone really!)

One of the most challenging things I have discovered since becoming a Mum is maintaining a spiritual practice. All too quickly I don't seem to have spare time where I can sit in contemplation and meditate. Nor do I have the free time or physical energy to attend regular yoga classes. So as we  learn in yoga I must be like a tree, strong but flexible, adapting to my new life and integrating the spiritual into the everyday instead of having it as a separate entity. Which is probably the best way to practice anyway.

In comes Sarah Napthali who has written the book "Buddhism for Mothers." I have just started reading this book and have already found it to be extremely useful so I wanted to share some techniques that we can all use every day to become calmer Mums (or people.) Sarah has a quote in the book that might help you to understand what mindfulness and meditation truly is; 

"Meditation is here and now, amid the ups and downs of life, amidst conflicts, disappointments, heartaches, joys, success and stress of living. It is amidst the chaos that we need to practise mindfulness to find peace within ourselves and the end of our suffering" 

Following are some ways how:

• You can meditate when doing pretty much any task during the day, walking down the hallway, doing the dishes, laundry, breastfeeding/bottle feeding, at the traffic lights, waiting in a queue, going to the toilet. All you need do is be present in these moments without the mind chatter. Start by choosing just one activity that you do everyday such as having a cup of tea and just be there concentrate on the activity of choice and allow all thoughts to just float by without getting attached to them. If you get caught up in your mind chatter just gently bring yourself back to the moment and remember the past and the future do not exist we only have the here and now.
• When you are waking say to yourself "I am walking" and feel the earth beneath your feet. The earth is a powerful energy field and you will feel its calming effect just by focusing on it.
• When you do housework concentrate on every detail of the task, feel the water running over your hands when washing up or the way your muscles work when vacuuming.
• When you eat, eat mindfully, so much of our eating is done with other stimuli these days, we watch tv or play on our phones and don't even think about the food that is entering our bodies. Concentrate on the movement of your hands while eating, the taste, the texture how it feels when you swallow and the feeling of it in your belly. 
• When going through your daily tasks, do a quick body scan, are there areas of tension? Can you relax a little bit more? Do you need to soften your face? 
• Wherever you are notice your surroundings, really drink it in. Challenge yourself to notice something different in your neighbourhood every day.   
• Listen attentively to others and pause before jumping into the conversation.
• Watch your thinking processes as often as possible without judgement. There are no 'good' and 'bad' thoughts they are just thoughts.
• Take every opportunity to focus on your breathing to rest your mind.
• Seek opportunities for silence and stillness. Sometimes it makes sense to resist the tv, car radio or idle chatter.

There you have it meditation and mindfulness can be integrated in our lives every day and we don't have to be dedicating endless hours in a monastery or ashram to truly become peaceful and still. It really is that simple.

Love and light
L xox 

Confessions of a first time Mum

So I'm just going to come out and say something that I feel needs to be said....................................... Some days I hate being a Mum. It's not that I hate my son in fact its because I love him so much that these days are particularly hard. The days where for 3 months he has been getting more and more difficult and more and more whiny and clingy and then he won't sleep, he won't play on his own and he cries every time the slightest thing goes amiss. Everything you thought you knew about your child and parenting goes right out the window and you are left wondering what to do.

It is soon after that I get mother guilt, thinking along the lines of maybe if I just sacrificed myself a little bit more, played with him more or performed some kind of magical spell while standing on one leg and hopping he would stop being upset. Mother guilt sucks.

Then I get worried, worried that this will never end and he will stay this way forever.

A huge reason for me wanting to express al this is I feel so much of it is behind closed doors. So much of motherhood is romanticised and when you ask other mothers how they are doing they seem to have it all under control. Now I don't know if I am the only person on the planet with a child that has two heads (the angel and the devil) but most of the time, I feel like I am. Its kind of like mental illness, people don't want to admit that sometimes it feels crap because if they admit it it means they are weak. Well if that makes me a weak Mum I want everyone to know so that maybe someone won't feel so alone.

And another thing my son does not sleep through 7pm to 7am, nor has he ever except for one blissful week or two where he did. In fact not only has he never slept through lately he has gone back to waking up 3 times again. I admit this because sometimes I feel like I'm not good enough because my baby is still waking and I won't leave him to cry it out.

One other thing that sometimes sucks when your a Mum is that you become invisible all of a sudden. No one asks you how you are and generally you get the briefest if any greeting at all, when you see people. I have become so invisible that when i chopped all my hair off recently my Mum didn't even notice as she was too busy paying attention to E.

My house isn't perfectly clean all the time in fact its not perfectly clean most of the time and some weeks it is a complete mess. I let my baby fall asleep on the boob (when he is co operating) and he is in our bed at least a few times a week. I never let him cry it out although I can usually tell the difference between a real cry and just fussing and I am ok with leaving him then. Oh and one last thing I am completely making this parenting thing up as I go along. Most the time I have no idea what I am doing, except for what my instincts tell me and what feels right in my heart.

Now I understand that it was my choice to have this child and I get that it is a privilege to bring up a child but sometimes it would be nice if it was just about me again. No one ever really says "hey you are doing an incredible job," you don't get a day off, and you don't get paid for what you do except in gummy smiles, which I admit are pretty special .

Yes of course being a parent has its amazing rewards and you do get a lot out of it but this post isn't about that. This post is about the dark days, where you are knee deep in it and you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel and then finally when you do see a light turns out it is really just a train heading straight for you!

So I dedicate this post to all the Mums out there, all you fabulous, exhausted, beautiful souls who even when its the hardest of days will still get up and do what's necessary to care for your children. Because we are all doing the best we possibly can in each and every moment of this journey. Oh and you are not invisible to me, in fact you're light and love shines brightly and encourages me to keep going when it all seems too hard.

L xxx